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PENGUNJUNG

Mengapa Pria Sebaiknya Menikah pada Usia 25, Wanita 21?

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Menikah berarti siap menjadi orangtua tidak sekadar 1-2 tahun, tetapi seumur hidup. Karenanya, untuk menghadapi kondisi tersebut, seseorang memerlukan kesiapan mental yang tangguh. Hal tersebut yang mendasari usia pernikahan minimal 21 tahun bagi wanita, dan 25 tahun bagi pria. 


“Usia memang tidak menjadi dasar mutlak kesiapan mental. Namun dengan batas tersebut diharapkan pengalaman dan kesiapan mental lebih baik, dibanding usia yang lebih muda. Selain tentunya kesiapan dari aspek medis,” kata psikolog Ana Surti Ariani dalam kelas parenting New Parents Academy sesi Psikologi Pernikahan. 

Siap menjadi orangtua 
Bila pasangan menikah sebelum usia 21 dan 25 tahun, Ana menyarankan keduanya menunda memiliki anak. Dengan penundaan tersebut keduanya bisa saling menyusun pola pendidikan untuk anaknya kelak. Keduanya juga bisa menyiapkan mental menghadapi proses tumbuh kembang anak. Selama penundaan, calon orangtua juga bisa menentukan pola pengasuhan yang hendak diterapkan pada anaknya. 

“Parentingadalah pilihan dan orangtua bisa menentukannya dengan berbagai pertimbangan. Dengan kesiapan mental, diharapkan orangtua tahu bagaimana efek pengasuhan tersebut pada anaknya,” tutur Ana. Bila mengetahui efek penerapan parenting maka orangtua tidak akan asal pilih. Orangtua juga tidak akan menerapkan pengasuhan hanya karena terbiasa. Selanjutnya orangtua akan menerapkan keputusan tersebut dengan benar.
Tentunya orangtua juga memasukkan lingkungan sekitar dalam pertimbangan parentingyang dilaksanakan, misal keluarga dan asisten rumah tangga. 

Siap berkorban dan lebih percaya diri 
Selain memilih pola parenting, kesiapan mental akan membimbing calon orang tua mempersiapkan "pengorbanan" yang harus dilakukan. Misalnya mengorbankan waktu yang tadinya lebih banyak untuk dirinya untuk selalu memprioritaskan anaknya. Kesiapan mental juga menyebabkan orangtua selalu percaya diri dalam mengambil keputusan. “Rasa percaya diri inilah yang menyebabkan orangtua tidak mudah kalah, sehingga tidak mengabulkan apapun yang diminta anak. Hal ini memungkinkan pengasuhan selalu dalam pola yang sudah ditetapkan. Percaya diri sekaligus mencegah orangtua menjadi permisif pada anak,” tutur Ana.

Siap memahami anak
Menjadi orangtua, kata Ana, merupakan keharusan untuk terus belajar dan meningkatkan keterampilan. Keterampilan memungkinkan orangtua selalu bisa berkomunikasi, dan memahami apa yang dirasakan anak.

Yang tak kalah penting, kematangan mental memudahkan orangtua menerima pilihan anak ketika dewasa. Meski tak sesuai rencana awal, orangtua tetap harus memastikan anaknya bahagia dengan jalan yang dipilihnya. Dengan cara ini, anak akan bisa menjalani kehidupannya dengan baik ketika beranjak dewasa.

“Sampai kapanpun kita adalah orangtua dari seorang anak. Tugas orangtua adalah menyediakan pendidikan yang terbaik bagi anaknya. Selanjutnya orangtua harus berlapang dada menerima keputusan anak, walau tak sesuai harapannya,” kata Ana.
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